Underground Video Users Group - UVUG.com

No money this month

prowlerx99 — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:06:04 +0000

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in September,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $90,000.” “Wow. Two [...]

Work qualification test

prowlerx99 — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:01:57 +0000

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy [...]

Golfing with an old man

prowlerx99 — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 19:23:09 +0000

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee [...]

Religious golf game

prowlerx99 — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 19:21:59 +0000

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. “Your holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.” The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held [...]

Forester and lawyer in heaven

prowlerx99 — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:14:23 +0000

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum [...]

3 men in heaven

prowlerx99 — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:13:18 +0000

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?” So [...]

Poor guy

prowlerx99 — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:36:33 +0000

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of [...]

3 door dummy

prowlerx99 — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:34:16 +0000

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he [...]

Fishing license joke

prowlerx99 — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 21:17:58 +0000

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush’s jumped the Game Warden !! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella stopped [...]

Safe to swim here?

prowlerx99 — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 21:16:48 +0000

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” “Feeling [...]

Americans in Ireland

prowlerx99 — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 20:17:43 +0000

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ ya all your days if you [...]

A lesson

prowlerx99 — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 20:16:31 +0000

Two So-Cal guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug [...]

Bad day in the car

prowlerx99 — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:02:01 +0000

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. “What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked. The man responded, “I guess I’ll go to driving school and get my license.” [...]

Drug Used to Seduce Men

prowlerx99 — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:00:10 +0000

Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs: Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called “beer” that is essentially in liquid form. The most effective varieties are being shipped in from other countries. “Beer” is now being used by female sexual [...]

Bear hunting

prowlerx99 — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 20:16:46 +0000

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said: “You’ve got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have [...]