Underground Video Users Group - UVUG.com

A doctor at an insane asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the
national anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up nuts!” and the inmates complied
by standing up.

After the anthem he yelled, “Down Nuts!” and they all sat. After a home run he
yelled, “Cheer nuts!” and they all broke into applause and cheers. Thinking
things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot-dog, leaving
his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress.

Finding his assistant, he asked what happened. The assistant replied, “Well…
everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ‘PEANUTS!’”

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will
be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as ‘Millennia Year Application
Software System’ (MYASS).

Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We
will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an
opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking
aspects yet, so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This
restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.

Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked
into a subordinate’s office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose
buried in MYASS. Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of
MYASS. Last week my secretary said to me, ‘I’m a little nervous, I never put
anything in MYASS before.’ I helped her through the first time and afterward she
admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to
doing it again, and was even ready to kiss MYASS.

There have been concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial
installation, but the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS.
In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS.
This database will encompass all information associated with the business.

As you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want in MYASS.
As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace for a
supervisor to hand work to an employee and say, ‘here, stick this in MYASS.’ It
will be a great day when we need data quickly and our employees can respond,
‘Here it is, I just pulled it out of MYASS.’