The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked.

“Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.”

“I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour.”

“That’s not bad,” she replied. “How much for all night?”

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter
girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents
from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel
and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her
discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she
hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction
to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of
the evolution in teaching math since the 1950’s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950’s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for
$100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1960’s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for
$100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his
profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970’s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for
$100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980’s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for
$100.. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your
assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990’s: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest
because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the
habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this
so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making
a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question:
How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok. )

6. Teaching Math In 2007: Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara
$100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”

The policeman said, “What’s he like?”

Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

20. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

18. Aren’t you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.

11. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that’s how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

This 1000 pound hog was shot in alabama by an 11-yr old

Tyra Banks is visited by some animals and Hillary Duff. Hilarity ensues especially when Tyra decides to sit on a couch and it falls over

Unemployment Check: Tyra Banks Wipes Out

Posted May 04, 2007

Hilarity ensues when Tyra decides to sit on a couch and it falls over.