Archive for December 31st, 2006
Abstain remover
Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.
After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. “No problem at all, Pastor,” replies the old man.
“Congratulations!” says the pastor. “Welcome to the church.” He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. “It was difficult,” replies the husband. “By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it.”
“Congratulations on overcoming temptation,” says the pastor. “Welcome to the church.” He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.
“At first it was no problem,” says the husband. “But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”
“You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church,” says the pastor.
“We know,” says the young man. “We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either.”
Posted: December 31st, 2006 under Jokes.
Comments: none | email this
Wicked Wish Joke
A guy from Quebec and a guy from Ontario are fighting over a lantern when a genie pops out and grants them each one wish.
The Quebecer says, “I want a wall around Quebec to protect my culture. Make it about 150 feet high, so nothing can get in or out.”
“It is done,” says the genie, turning to the other guy. “And your wish?”
The guy from Ontario smiles and says, “Fill it with water.”
Posted: December 31st, 2006 under Jokes.
Comments: none | email this
Two nuns joke
Two nuns are on a break in the rectory.
“I was cleaning Father Tom’s room a few days ago,” gossips the first nun, “and I found a bunch of condoms.”
“Oh, my,” gasps the second nun. “What did you do?”
“I poked holes in them,” she replies.
“Fuck!” says the second nun.
Posted: December 31st, 2006 under Jokes.
Comments: none | email this
Japanese Bikini Rodeo Pie Fighting
Sexy Japanese models get their bikinis dirty in a rodeo pie fight! Just in case the 50 state girl made you think that the free content of UVUG was losing it’s edge! Why does TV in Japan get this stuff and we get “Celebrity Fit Club”?
Posted: December 31st, 2006 under Videos.
Comments: none | email this
Look At Me Being Serious
A member of the University of South Carolina student government freaks out when some fellow students fill his office with balloons.
We at UVUG are amazed that anyone still does “student government”
Posted: December 31st, 2006 under Videos.
Comments: none | email this
50 States Girl
Easily the cutest talk show guest of all time. Uvug gives you a break from celebrities without panties…LOL
Posted: December 31st, 2006 under Videos.
Comments: none | email this
New Years Eve babes
Posted: December 31st, 2006 under Babe photos.
Comments: none | email this