Underground Video Users Group - UVUG.com

www.kyak.com great site to find cheap airfare!!!!

Newegg.com - free shipping on all orders, with Paypal
Many computer products at Newegg, such as DVD Burners, computer memory, and computer cases have shipping fees of $5 to $20 depending on weight. Coupon code PaypalFree gives free shipping on all orders (limit $20 savings), and by using Paypal as the payment method. Add your items to your cart, apply code PaypalFree to the cart, checkout, select “Pay With Paypal” on the screen which asks for your credit card, and choose “UPS 3 Days” as the shipping method. Your Paypal email address must match your Newegg.com account email address, and your order must be shipped to the address stored in your Paypal profile.

Newegg.com - 750GB Serial-ATA Hard Drive for $300
Seagate ST3750640AS 750GB 7200rpm Serial-ATA2 internal hard drive for $340 with free shipping. Coupon code EMC1217SEACUDA gives $40 off. A pretty good deal, since ZipZoomFly sells it for $330 and every other store for $335 and up.

Buy.com - Creative Muvo TX FM 1GB MP3 Player for $40
Creative Muvo TX FM 1GB, Red in color for $40 after Google Checkout automatic discount. Few stores still sell this tiny MP3 player, but those who do usually sell the 1GB version for around $70. One reason Buy.com has it for less is the Red is not a popular color.

The Muvo TX FM model has been around for years, but we recommend it for a tiny portable MP3 player, even over the newer Creative Nano Plus and Muvo V100 because this has a built-in USB port. It is very useful when traveling, since it lets you share music and files with friends’ computers without the hassle of carrying a cable.

Another difference with the Muvo TX FM is it uses a single AAA battery instead of a rechargeable battery like those built-in to iPods. While using AAA batteries are less convenient than a built-in rechargeable battery, it has some advantages. Rechargeable batteries only last for around 4-5 years of use, so devices with built-in batteries must be serviced when the built-in battery no longer carries a charge. With a AAA battery device, just replace the battery whenever its power is empty. Also a replaceable AAA battery means you are not limited to the power of just one battery, since you can carry extra AAA batteries with you and expect to get 15 hours of play time per Alkaline battery (or a little less for rechargeable AAA batteries). When traveling for a long period, this can be better than iPod users who are limited to the charge on their built-in rechargeable battery until they must find a power outlet.

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.

“Sidney thought of everything,” she told them. “Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. ‘Tillie,’ he told me, ‘I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace’.”

“What was in the envelopes?” her friends asked.

“The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, ‘Please use this money to buy a nice casket.’ So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably.”

“The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, ‘Please use this for anice funeral ‘I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending.”

“And the third envelope?” asked her friends.
“The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, ‘Please use this to buy a nice stone.’”

Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said…
“So, do you like my stone?” showing off her 10 carat diamond ring.

Confucious say…

…woman sitting in jelly have her ass in jam.
…man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts.
…man who puts penis in vaccuum cleaner, get sucked off.
…boy who lay girl on hill, not on level.
…man who lose key to girlfriend apartment, get no new-key!
…he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed.
…he who smoke pot, choke on handle.
…woman who wear g-string, high on crack!
…he who stand on toilet, high on pot!
…boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand!
…girl who bathe in vinegar, walk around with sour-puss!
…man with hand in bush, not nessarily trimming shrubs!
…man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money!
…he who masturbate, screw only himself!
…he who walks thru airplane door sideways is going to Bangkok!
…dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs!

A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office.
She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor.

After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”

“Oh…he is breast fed!”, replied the woman.
“Well then, strip down to your waist,” orders the doctor.

She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table.
The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.

The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says -
“No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don’t have any milk!”

The woman with a wry grin on her face responds…”Well of course I don’t.”
“I’m his aunt - but I’m SURE GLAD I brought him in!”

What does a short sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?

They both have wet noses!

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

3. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

6. Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”

7. This is a message from God Gates: “Rebooting the world. Please log off.”

8. To “shut down” your system, type “WIN”

9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.

10. COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

12. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

13. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

14. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

15. User Error: Replace user.

16. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”

17. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

10. When filling out your driver’s license application you give your IP address.

9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?”

8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

7. You’re amazed to find out spam is a food.

6. You “ping” people to see if they’re awake, “finger” them to find out how they are, and “AYT” them to make sure they’re listening to you.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

4. You introduce your wife as “my lady@home.wife” and refer to your children as “client applications”.

3. At social functions you introduce your husband as “my domain server”.

2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, “I feel so “colon-right parentheses!”

And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:

1. Two Words: “Pizza’s Here!”

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he’s going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, “I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck.”

So the second hunter says that he’s going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, “I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe.”

So the third hunter says, “I’m just gonna shoot at anything I see.”

So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, “I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!”