Underground Video Users Group - UVUG.com

Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. “No problem at all, Pastor,” replies the old man.

“Congratulations!” says the pastor. “Welcome to the church.” He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. “It was difficult,” replies the husband. “By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it.”

“Congratulations on overcoming temptation,” says the pastor. “Welcome to the church.” He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

“At first it was no problem,” says the husband. “But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church,” says the pastor.

“We know,” says the young man. “We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either.”

A guy from Quebec and a guy from Ontario are fighting over a lantern when a genie pops out and grants them each one wish.

The Quebecer says, “I want a wall around Quebec to protect my culture. Make it about 150 feet high, so nothing can get in or out.”

“It is done,” says the genie, turning to the other guy. “And your wish?”

The guy from Ontario smiles and says, “Fill it with water.”

Two nuns are on a break in the rectory.

“I was cleaning Father Tom’s room a few days ago,” gossips the first nun, “and I found a bunch of condoms.”

“Oh, my,” gasps the second nun. “What did you do?”

“I poked holes in them,” she replies.

“Fuck!” says the second nun.

Sexy Japanese models get their bikinis dirty in a rodeo pie fight! Just in case the 50 state girl made you think that the free content of UVUG was losing it’s edge! Why does TV in Japan get this stuff and we get “Celebrity Fit Club”?

A member of the University of South Carolina student government freaks out when some fellow students fill his office with balloons.

We at UVUG are amazed that anyone still does “student government”

Easily the cutest talk show guest of all time. Uvug gives you a break from celebrities without panties…LOL

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out.

The genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” The genie snapped his fingers and poof, the woman disappeared.

“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” The genie once again snapped his fingers and poof, the man disappeared.

“OK, you’re up,” the genie says to the manager.

The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

A guy phones up his boss’ house, but gets the boss’ wife instead. He asks to speak to her husband.

“I’m afraid he died earlier today,” she says.

The next day, the man calls again and asks for the boss.

“I told you,” the wife replies, “he died yesterday.”

The next day, he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time, the wife is getting upset and shouts, “I’ve already told you twice that he died. Why do you keep calling?”

“Because,” he replies, laughing, “I just love hearing it!”

Q. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving?
A. Thanks for coming.

Why would a woman nurse a kitten? Because she can. Truly messed up video here on uvug for your free viewing pleaseure

A rattlesnake takes a piece of a beautiful blond during a photo shoot. (Hey, she made us at uvug hungry, too.)

MSNBC’s JJ Ramberg starts choking right in the middle of a segment.

This guys puts stuff in a blender………don’t ask me why, I don’t know……..